Dani (She/Her)

Identity exploration (sexual orientation, gender identity, religious identity, immigrant or first generation identity); trauma (including sexual trauma); anxiety; relationships; grief; perfectionism and people-pleasing; feelings of depression; difficulties with adjustment; disordered eating, issues related to kink, etc.

I think people need compassion, acceptance, unconditional positive regard, and mostly hope that things can get better. I strive to make sure that my clients fee listened to and seen. I've had therapists who seem to go through the motions and I've had therapists that make me feel like I'm the most important thing in the moment and I strive to be the latter.

I feel like I've done a lot of my own work in therapy with my own therapist to discuss a lot of issues that have affected regarding various events I've been a part in and the multitude that contains me. I'm a Hispanic trans woman who moved from one country to another and even lived in a third one without ever being fully a part of any of them. I have experienced religious trauma and an existential crisis in figuring out not only what I believe in but also who I am as a person regarding my gender and also my values.

I've been abandoned by a parent and also by some friends and extended family and know what that feels like. I've had intrusive thoughts and mental health symptoms that managed to scare me and made me wonder if I'd ever be able to live a "normal" life. I've hated my reflection in the mirror. I've experienced loneliness and I've always felt like a misfit but with help I've made it to a much better place in my life.

I'm currently learning to love myself and not blame myself for other people's mistakes. I'm learning to be gentle and kind with myself. And I'm learning to communicate with the void I often feel inside of me and to get to know it rather than hate it.

We get hurt in relationship but we also heal in relationship. One cannot heal or get better by isolating and being alone. I believe that having corrective experiences is essential in learning that people can grow to trust others and maybe that starts in the therapy room, but it needs to expand beyond it. People need friends and family/found family to thrive. And that's easier said than done when people are on their phones all the time and there are very few third spaces that are affordable, so it takes work but it is so worth it.

Being with friends and family and animals brings me joy. Getting to talk with someone or do an activity with them makes life worth living rather than lonely, and getting to pet a furry friend does wonders for the body, mind, and heart. I also enjoy immersing myself in fictional worlds and settings and getting to spend a little bit of my inner life outside of this reality, giving me a break from things that make living difficult.

I would hope that they would say that they felt accepted and seen and heard. That they felt safe and supported. I would hope that they felt like they could build a therapeutic relationship with me and that they could feel easy talking to me. I also hope they would feel like I could challenge them in gentle ways. I like to nudge rather than push when it comes to challenging, knowing that clients shouldn't feel pressured to do or say anything they don't want to or are not ready for.